The limits of ambition

I must apologize to my faithful readers, who I have kept in suspense for too long. It's time for an update on this pilgrim's progress. What's been going on this week?

It was a blow, but I realized I had to take a rest. I rested for two days in Hiwasa and Ikumi, but it wasn't enough. On Monday, after walking south 20 km from Ikumi, I got on a bus and went back to my apartment in Kochi, feeling defeated.

People in their 60s and 70s make this journey with no difficulty. "Why can't I?" I wondered. Surely I'm not weaker than them. Maybe they have more flexibility, or walking experience. Or maybe the reason runs deeper than physical differences.

I started off walking for myself, for my experience, to broaden my understanding. But people of faith who walk it see the temples and the Kobo-Daishi and the pilgrimage as the main entities, not themselves. The pilgrimage is holy, and that's why they do it. They carry wishes, but in the main they pray to pay their respects. Because they are egoless, they don't rush to get to the next destination; after all, it's the journey that's important. They don't walk through pain, because they'll get there just the same. And they get there because they have faith, which trumps physical strength and personal ambition.

Most importantly it's not a race for them, so they pace themselves well. But I tried to keep up with my schedule and with other people, and I think that's where I went wrong. I injured myself because I didn't pace myself properly.

Pace is important.

My knee's not bad, but I don't know how long it will take to get better. Until it gets better I'm going to rest. When I start again I hope I'll be stronger and more flexible, both physically and mentally. I might have to change my plans, and do it in stretches rather than all at once, but that's okay, too.

That's it for now.